My Christmas wishes

At the age of six years old, I wished for a doll. Woke up from bed on Christmas day, No doll. Later on Christmas day of 1963, I asked daddy, was I bad girl this year that Santa didn’t get my doll. Daddy respond, NO Dear, I am sorry, I spend the money gambling at the horse races having fun with a lady friend of mine. Cheated on my mom.

At the age of seven years old, I wished for the doll again. Woke up on Christmas morning, looked under the Christmas tree, no doll. I asked daddy, Was I a bad girl, “No dear, I had to use the money to pay off my gamble debts and bought my lady friend a Christmas gift.

At the age of ten I asked for a brand new bike. Woke up on Christmas morning, looked under the Christmas Tree, No bike. I asked daddy, Why doesn’t Santa Claus like me? Daddy answered: Well, your not as smart as the other children since the accident. The coma done damaged to your brain nerves, according to the doctors how they explained to my daddy, you have Traumatic brain Injury so your brain don’t work as well anymore. The cost of the surgery I had to pay out was your Christmas gift for the next ten years.

As a little girl of all the promises that were made to me and the many times I have looked under the Christmas tree the gifts I received was the gifts that were old or what daddy received at the horse races. So I stopped believing in Christmas and stopped believing in Christmas wishes. It is foolish as an Adult to make Christmas wishes. As an adult I am today, I try to help make other children Christmas wishes come true if I am able to do so and help animals so my husband and I became foster parents and foster animals. We have done this for ten years until we lost our home and sadly we were no longer able to help and foster animals.

As an adult in my late fifties living with mental illness I thought I give Christmas one more try. I made a Christmas wish. I wished for

Sony HD Video Recording HDRCX405 HDR-CX405/B Handycam Camcorder (Black) + Sony 32GB microSDHC/SDXC High speed Memory Card + Camera Bag + Replacement NP-BX1 Battery and Charger + Accessory Bundle

that I came across Amazon as I was browsing through Amazon searching for a Christmas gift for a elderly friend. I used the Amazon gift cards that I have earned. My husband wished for four brand new tires for our van. “Oh, I said to my husband this is just a silly old Christmas wish for Christmas is for children not for Adults. Besides all the many Christmas wishes I have made when I was a child growing up as my daddy would say, Christmas wishes are foolish and we need to save the money up for the new tires. As much as I could use this camcorder to be able to share my story of my life growing up in a dysfunctional and violent home with a mother who had mental illness I believe story would help others and give them a sense of Hope to stay positive and hold on their faith. I am walking testimony and the reason I want to share my story and help people who lives with mental illness and gambling addictions I hope it will give them an insight of their own lives to over-come to learn to be strong and to never give up their dreams.

I try to what I can and able to do to help unfortunate children to fulfill their Christmas wish. I know how it feels to wake up on Christmas morning and found nothing under the tree and hearing one excuses one after another. I don’t hold no hard feelings against my parents. My father has a gambling addiction as well cheating on my mother and my mother had mental illness so I have forgiven the both of them. I learned to fight to survive learning life lessons the hard way. Never Quit! Never give up in Believing or giving up Hope! Life is filled with so many mysteries and questions.



I hate watching Television

All you hear on television these days is nothing but negativity. Majority percentage in the United States, parents allows their children sit in front of the television for hours. Then they wonder where they pick up their bad habits and behavior.

Children learns what they see, what they hear.Children are like tape recorders. They repeat or act what they see and what they hear. What happen to American families today?

Growing up we did not have a television in our homes so we found many things to do playing out doors. Kick the can, Seven Up, Hopscotch, Jump rope. Is new technology good? Some may be but some may not in some cases.

Many children even adults have trouble with weigh problems. fact is, these people may sit in front of a television feeding their faces with all kinds of junk food. I have always been an outdoor person, love to read in my spare time. I love being outside in the fresh air taking photo’s of nature and doing other outdoor activities.

It is not only television, the internet, hand held games, computer games. Neighbor I know sits in his home all day playing games. Neighbor is an grown adult in his late forties. Long hours sitting in front of a computer or playing games for long period of hours can cause serious health problems, such as; seizures.

Now many may say, this is hog wash. Well, that is what I thought too. It wasn’t until two years ago, my sister started having seizures. For the life of us we didn’t know what was causing them. Finally, she confessed she would sit in front of her computer 24X7 playing games, eat in front of her computer and play games all hours of the night.

It caught up with her. One night we were sitting outside on a warm night and she turn her to look at something and could not turn her head back around. It happen so fast. I stayed calm and collective and called an ambulance right away. She ended up being admitted to the hospital and being a patient for nearly ten days.

It is okay to watch television and play games and being on the computer but make sure to set limitations and take breaks in between. Get out and grab some fresh air, take a walk or a drive. Whatever you choose just take a break from the television or computer and get out and enjoy life.

Door to Life

On some occasions the door to life opportunities but never give up. some doors may close but if you quit trying, you may never find out the many doors of opportunities that life has opened for you.

Sometimes our thoughts can take over and discourage us but always keep an positive and open mind. Whenever I rise from my bed in the mornings, way before my alarm clock goes off, I tell myself, “Oh, it is still early yet go back to sleep. If I stay awake to long I end up starting to think to much for living with TBI, (Traumatic Brain Injury) my mind has racing thoughts which runs like the commercial airs on television about the energy battery. My thoughts starts to run out of control, than anxiety sets in.

In the darkest of my bedroom as I lay there on my bed I am beset by guilt, shame, regret, and a host of many other negative thoughts that crosses pass through my mind and the emotions sets in.

Fortunately, I am a Christian and thank God I do have a personal relationship with Christ so the Holy Spirit is close near me at my side, encouraging me to shift my thoughts in another direction and shift my attention and thoughts on God. If, I repeat memory verses that I learned from the bible, repeating the words of praise and thankfulness, the Holy Spirits lifts me up out of my despair and guides my thoughts in another direction.

Life is not at times a bowl of cherries, sometimes life may bring a full bad cherries that will guide on down the wrong road. Whenever I feel myself in trouble of forgetting and feeling blue and depressed I found myself turning them over to God and surrendering them into His hands.

Where there is a will there is a way if we take time out

to pray. Pray for courage and strength too, ask God

to guide you through.

No matter where you run if troubles not carefully

attended to, troubles will follow you.

Ask God to help you daily to help control your thoughts,

remove the thoughts of negative out of your mind

let God in control create new memories in his own design.

Remove despair and anxiety too and fill your thoughts and heart

with joy and peace and love.

Pray and ask God to open life doors of opportunities.

Whatever floats…

Whatever floats your boat!

Every human being has the choice to choose their own destiny in how they conduct their lives. If individual group of people choose to drink and drive than they better be prepared to pay the consequences of the choice they made if pulled over by a police officer. 

Whatever floats their boat! defining the meaning quote: Every individual has the right to do what works for them to provide for their families, protecting their families as long it according to the law living an law abiding citizen. Individual people has the right to choose to want to live happy and in peace with one another and choose their own faith and choose the path they chose to walk. Whatever floats their boat! Their right, their decision, their destiny, their lives. Trust in God than man. 

Why it is the law to wear seat belts

Why it is the law to wear seat belts

No parents every wants to receive a phone call that a love one was in a sever car accident. For it is parents worse nightmare. Although our son-in-law was wearing a seat belt which saved his life the other driver who hit him head on was under the influence and driving over the speed limit. We thank God, he sent his Angels down looking over our son-in-law. What could happen if you don’t wear seat belts. Most accidents happen close to home. Not a Joke!