My Christmas wishes

At the age of six years old, I wished for a doll. Woke up from bed on Christmas day, No doll. Later on Christmas day of 1963, I asked daddy, was I bad girl this year that Santa didn’t get my doll. Daddy respond, NO Dear, I am sorry, I spend the money gambling at the horse races having fun with a lady friend of mine. Cheated on my mom.

At the age of seven years old, I wished for the doll again. Woke up on Christmas morning, looked under the Christmas tree, no doll. I asked daddy, Was I a bad girl, “No dear, I had to use the money to pay off my gamble debts and bought my lady friend a Christmas gift.

At the age of ten I asked for a brand new bike. Woke up on Christmas morning, looked under the Christmas Tree, No bike. I asked daddy, Why doesn’t Santa Claus like me? Daddy answered: Well, your not as smart as the other children since the accident. The coma done damaged to your brain nerves, according to the doctors how they explained to my daddy, you have Traumatic brain Injury so your brain don’t work as well anymore. The cost of the surgery I had to pay out was your Christmas gift for the next ten years.

As a little girl of all the promises that were made to me and the many times I have looked under the Christmas tree the gifts I received was the gifts that were old or what daddy received at the horse races. So I stopped believing in Christmas and stopped believing in Christmas wishes. It is foolish as an Adult to make Christmas wishes. As an adult I am today, I try to help make other children Christmas wishes come true if I am able to do so and help animals so my husband and I became foster parents and foster animals. We have done this for ten years until we lost our home and sadly we were no longer able to help and foster animals.

As an adult in my late fifties living with mental illness I thought I give Christmas one more try. I made a Christmas wish. I wished for

Sony HD Video Recording HDRCX405 HDR-CX405/B Handycam Camcorder (Black) + Sony 32GB microSDHC/SDXC High speed Memory Card + Camera Bag + Replacement NP-BX1 Battery and Charger + Accessory Bundle

that I came across Amazon as I was browsing through Amazon searching for a Christmas gift for a elderly friend. I used the Amazon gift cards that I have earned. My husband wished for four brand new tires for our van. “Oh, I said to my husband this is just a silly old Christmas wish for Christmas is for children not for Adults. Besides all the many Christmas wishes I have made when I was a child growing up as my daddy would say, Christmas wishes are foolish and we need to save the money up for the new tires. As much as I could use this camcorder to be able to share my story of my life growing up in a dysfunctional and violent home with a mother who had mental illness I believe story would help others and give them a sense of Hope to stay positive and hold on their faith. I am walking testimony and the reason I want to share my story and help people who lives with mental illness and gambling addictions I hope it will give them an insight of their own lives to over-come to learn to be strong and to never give up their dreams.

I try to what I can and able to do to help unfortunate children to fulfill their Christmas wish. I know how it feels to wake up on Christmas morning and found nothing under the tree and hearing one excuses one after another. I don’t hold no hard feelings against my parents. My father has a gambling addiction as well cheating on my mother and my mother had mental illness so I have forgiven the both of them. I learned to fight to survive learning life lessons the hard way. Never Quit! Never give up in Believing or giving up Hope! Life is filled with so many mysteries and questions.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s