May 16, 2012
Where no counsel is, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.
All the young widow left behind was a note, saying, “I could have made it if I just had someone to talk to. I can’t stand being alone. I know my problems aren’t so much greater than those of other people, but I need someone to help me solve them. I just can’t do it by myself anymore. Out of depression and loneliness, people takes their own life’s. This is the tragedy of those who do not know Jesus. When we have Jesus in our lives we are never alone. God hears and he rejoices when we pour our hearts out to Him, confiding in him our deepest thoughts and our needs and desires. He listens to our smallest of our cries. I know.
I was raised in a home full of violence and family dysfunctional. I was abused repeatedly. The first time I was sexual abuse I was only six year’s old on Christmas Eve of 1963. The abuse continued throughout my childhood year’s into my late twenties. It wasn’t just sexual abused. Finally when I turned thirteen I had enough and I wanted the abuse to stop and the only way out I attempted to commit suicide. I was thirteen years old. The kids I went to school with kept bullying me and my middle sister joined in with the kids. It was in the mid of winter, snow covered the grounds and the roads were slippery and icy. The wind was bitter cold. Kids taken my coat and shoes and left me outside in the cold winter snowy day with no coat and shoes so I got angry and had enough as I said. I kicked the window in and the break of the glass cut the main artery on my right ankle. I was rushed to the hospital. Lost a good amount of blood. By the time I reached to the hospital I fell into a coma and laid in a coma for over four months. I was at the point in my life I didn’t care if I waked up from the coma or not. I felt I didn’t feel safe from home and I couldn’t even feel safe in school so I was at that point I gave up hope and wanted to give up on life.
After I came out of the coma my life was changed. God spared my life for a reason. I need a haven living in my dysfunctional abusing home. I needed someone who will share my burdens and hear my cries. I needed to feel my cries out for help was being heard. It didn’t get better when I arrived home. It only got worse. Now I didn’t feel alone, I had Jesus fighting with me. I live with Head Trauma Amnesia from a blow to my head. My head was busted open and had to have stitches and again I fell into a coma but I am here today. I have memory loss due to the Head Trauma but I learn to live with it and not let it control my life.
I need a haven in this stressful world. The load is taken from my heart when I kneel my head down in prayer and take it to Jesus. We can rejoice that we have someone who understands us so completely and cares for us so totally. When no one else is there for us to talk to, God remains by our side, never leaving, never turning.