Archive | May 2012

Adult Survivor I am

As a survivor I know I can’t quit

or give up..for I fought to long..

finding my way where I belong..

I walked through many valley’s..

and through many dark alley’s..climbed

many mountains..to get where I am today..

for it was through prayer that made me strong..

 

Giving up and quitting for it is not in my

vocabulary..many times I do admit..I have fall

but I get right back up and stand up tall..the road

of life goes on and on and life brings many obstacles

in your way..that may slow you down..thought of

giving up and quitting..”No Way!

 

At one time in my life when I was very small..

a child..who lost her way..from all that happen

to me..from the Adults who I was to listen to of

all they say and obey. Fought the battles from abuse to bullying..

those who robbed my self-esteem, made feel so low..

I am here for a reason..for I fought it all on my own..

to survive to live… I know I would of not made it

through fighting my battles alone..so I would fall on my,

knees and ask God to help me through and through..

to give me the strength to never give up..never

quit..by God’s grace and mercy..and many prayers..

for I know God cares for his tender love He shares.

 

Never give up..do not quit..even when life throws

you rocks..so much to learn..keep your head lifted

up high..eyes on Him..your not fighting your battles

alone..you’ll find God will be your comfort zone!

Wisdom From The Word Of God

May 16, 2012

Proverbs 11:14

Where no counsel is, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.

All the young widow left behind was a note, saying, “I could have made it if I just had someone to talk to. I can’t stand being alone. I know my problems aren’t so much greater than those of other people, but I need someone to help me solve them. I just can’t do it by myself anymore. Out of depression and loneliness, people takes their own life’s. This is the tragedy of those who do not know Jesus. When we have Jesus in our lives we are never alone. God hears and he rejoices when we pour our hearts out to Him, confiding in him our deepest thoughts and our needs and desires. He listens to our smallest of our cries. I know.

I was raised in a home full of violence and family dysfunctional. I was abused repeatedly. The first time I was sexual abuse I was only six year’s old on Christmas Eve of 1963. The abuse continued throughout my childhood year’s into my late twenties. It wasn’t just sexual abused. Finally when I turned thirteen I had enough and I wanted the abuse to stop and the only way out I attempted to commit suicide. I was thirteen years old. The kids I went to school with kept bullying me and my middle sister joined in with the kids. It was in the mid of winter, snow covered the grounds and the roads were slippery and icy. The wind was bitter cold. Kids taken my coat and shoes and left me outside in the cold winter snowy day with no coat and shoes so I got angry and had enough as I said. I kicked the window in and the break of the glass cut the main artery on my right ankle. I was rushed to the hospital. Lost a good amount of blood. By the time I reached to the hospital I fell into a coma and laid in a coma for over four months. I was at the point in my life I didn’t care if I waked up from the coma or not. I felt I didn’t feel safe from home and I couldn’t even feel safe in school so I was at that point I gave up hope and wanted to give up on life. 

After I came out of the coma my life was changed. God spared my life for a reason. I need a haven living in  my dysfunctional abusing home. I needed someone who will share my burdens and hear my cries. I needed to feel my cries out for help was being heard. It didn’t get better when I arrived home. It only got worse. Now I didn’t feel alone, I had Jesus fighting with me. I live with Head Trauma Amnesia from a blow to my head. My head was busted open and had to have stitches and again I fell into a coma but I am here today. I have memory loss due to the Head Trauma but I learn to live with it and not let it control my life. 

I need a haven in this stressful world. The load is taken from my heart when I kneel my head down in prayer and take it to Jesus. We can rejoice that we have someone who understands us so completely and cares for us so totally. When no one else is there for us to talk to, God remains by our side, never leaving, never turning. 

 

Next Generation

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Wonder what the world is going to be like for our next generation. Life is hard now where families struggles just to survive. Our government fighting among themselves, the tax raises, unemployment rising, “Oh, I don’t want to forget the rise of crime everywhere, not just in United states but in many other Nations. Is this how we are setting good examples for our children and grandchildren. All parents wants to do what is best for our children and grandchildren but we also want to teach them good life skills on survival when they leave and walk out to the world. What are we saying to our children and grandchildren? when they ask, Why can’t people just get along and live in peace. Children looks up to Adults to guide them, to comfort them and to teach them to live ethical and moral life’s. We don’t want our children walk out to the world frightened and scared where they don’t know how to defend themselves. We teach them to walk out to the world with their head lifted up high and trust they will remember what they were taught. So we ask again over and over, wonder; how hard is it going to be for our next generation to be able to survive. Majority many children are returning to live back with their parents because the expenses of survival, the economy to survive. We want our children to be successful but not on someone’s else’s expense, what I mean not to cheat their way to be successful. It is getting harder by the second for our generation to be able to survive on their own. Those who makes it to the top are not guarantee job security. 

So what are we teaching our children today? In what ways are we setting them good examples? When the tough gets going, the going gets tough. Today we have prisons filled with juveniles as young as ten year’s old for crimes like murder, sex abuse, other related violence’s.Discipline starts at home. Children should be able to feel safe in their homes and live in safe environment. Discipline with Love. Most parents have encountered freely share biblical truths “handed down to them from their parents and grandparents. Is the faith being displayed in their lives. When I look back to my youth, I am reminded how my own grandmother taken me to church and we sit in church together as a family and taught morals to make ethical decisions to help our growth to pass on to our children and hope what we teach our own children they will pass on to their children. “Old saying, my grandmother shared with repeatedly-“The family that prays together, stays together. Grandma would have a plaque hanging on her wall with this saying, as well as I also have had this saying on hanging on my wall and taken my children to church. Today, even our churches are being disrupted. Where do our children turn to? when they can’t turn to an person they can trust. When we, parents look back and see a trail if regrets, we pray God gives us the courage to change those views. Hope we can teach our children values to hold on to God’s truths and not to visions.